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[The squip]
Take your hands out of your pockets
Arch your back, puff out your chest
Add some swagger to your gate or
You'll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor
Fix your posture, then the rest
[Jeremy]
But I am a masturbator--
[The squip]
We'll fix that
All your nerdiness is ugly
[Jeremy]
Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but--
[The squip]
All your stammering's a chore
[Jeremy]
Wh-wh-what?
[The squip]
Your tics and fidgets are persistent
And your charm is non-existent
Fix your vibe, then fix some more
Buh
[Jeremy]
Wha?
[The squip]
Buh
[Jeremy]
Wha?
[The squip]
No
[Jeremy]
Aah!
[The squip]
Stop
Oh, everything about you is so terrible
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die
[Jeremy]
Jesus Christ
[The squip]
So don't freak out
And don't resist
And have no doubt
If I assist
You will
Be more chill
First thing's first, go buy a new shirt
[Jeremy]
What?! What's wrong with my shirt--
[The squip]
It's better if you just comply
My job's to color your aesthetic
And make you seem much less pathetic
Just step and fetch, don't ask me why
[Jeremy]
How are you with math homework?
[The squip]
I'm a super-computer, jeremy
I'm made of math
Oh, everything about you is so terrible
[People in the mall]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!
[The squip]
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die
[People in the mall]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!
[The squip & people in the mall]
All the people in the mall
Think you're such a slob
[People in the mall]
You're a slob!
Terrible!
Such a slob!
[The squip]
And boy, can I see why!
Now you try picking a shirt
That's a girl's shirt
[Jeremy]
Sorry
[Chloe]
Jerry?
[Jeremy]
Jeremy
[Chloe]
You shop here?
[Jeremy]
Oh, yeah all the time--
[The squip]
Never
[Jeremy]
Never
Is what I meant to
[The squip]
Greet the beta
[Jeremy]
Oh
Hey, brooke
[The squip]
You look sexy
[Jeremy]
I can't say that to a hot girl!
[The squip]
Don't smile
Stare intensely
Speak like you don't care about your own death
[Jeremy]
Lookin' pretty sexy, brooke
[Brooke]
Thanks
[Chloe]
Is that a girl's shirt?
[Jeremy]
No
[The squip]
Yes
[Jeremy]
Yes
[The squip]
Repeat after me--
I saw it in the window
And I couldn't dismiss
[Jeremy]
I saw it in the window
And I couldn't dismiss
[The squip]
I was dating a girl and
She had a shirt just like this
[Jeremy]
I was dating a girl and
She had a shirt just like this
[The squip]
It's still painful
[Jeremy]
It's still painful
[Chloe]
So, who was this mystery girl?
[Jeremy]
Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so--
[The squip]
Madeline
[Jeremy]
Madeline
[Chloe]
What?
[Jeremy]
She's french
[Chloe]
Ugh! She is not french!
She just pretends to be for attention!
[Brooke]
Madeline broke up with you?
[Jeremy]
Yeah
[The squip]
No
[Jeremy]
I mean--
[The squip]
I broke up with her
[Jeremy]
I broke up with her
[The squip]
'Cause she was
Cheating on me
[Jeremy, overselling it]
'Cause she was
Cheating on me
[The squip]
Hey, Hamlet
Be more chill
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