Testo di 'Rapunzel And Flynn Versus Anna And Kristoff (Princess Rap Battle)' di Whitney Avalon

Princess Rap Battle
Rapunzel and Flynn versus Anna and Kristoff
Let the rap battle begin!

[Rapunzel]
My hair’s so soft but I ball so hard
That my bed head brings all the boys to the yard
I was the caged bird singing, busting back on the scene
This little lost princess is the long-locked queen
Of rap-unzel, right in my name
Coming back for my crown with my magical mane
I’m a chef, guitarist, painter, potter, scholar, singer, dancer
Knock me but like Elsa’s door, you haven’t got an answer
Your snowflake’s not unique and you’re past your peak
Even the silver in your hair is a losing streak
I can’t believe how dumb you are, Hans took you for a sucker
I’ll say it twice, you stink on ice, did I mumble, motherfucker?

[Anna]
I’m not ANN-a, I’m AH-na, I go ham when I wanna
You can’t handle the drama, slam a damn prima donna
A once upon a timer I know better than momma
Frozen fever so hot, I have to chill in a sauna
Blondie’s only got three books and a mother that betrays her
And it doesn’t even phase her that she raised her with no razor
Sunflower in a tower, tricked by her kidnapper
Me? I woulda capped her and frickin’ witch slapped her
You’re not the brightest lantern and your mug is just fugly
The word on the street is that your duckling ain't snuggly
Agoraphobic bore and I don’t know what’s sadder
That you’ve never worn shoes or that you’re just a rope ladder
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[Flynn]
I'm kinda like this oaf, but I'm dashing, smart and beautious
He's a bigger horse's ass than Maximus's gluteus
My dream came true: the girl, the castle, the money
I'm the wanted man she wanted, man, the future looks sunny
This dapper rogue rapper's now a royal insider
And since we got hitched we are both Flynn riders
You think you're hot shit? Well, your sister was colder
I'll melt the ice in your heart, when I heat up I smolder

[Kristoff]
You're a fraud, Eugene, I'll pop your head like a twist off
This robber's getting clobbered when Kristoff gets pissed off
My reindeer Sven is so damn frosty, Santa's like
(Damn! That's a cold-ass donkey!)
I love Anna, not her title, I would never two-time her
You're a terrible rhymer, a tower and social climber
You're a colossal debacle, even Olaf knows you're awful
You're as crooked as your nose, I should dust you like Gothel

[Rapunzel (Flynn)]
Can I end this business? Hells yes, I can
With the business end of my frying pan
Tied up and dangled, strung up and strangled
You'll have a brush with death when you're messing with Tangled
(So hungry for a husband once you left your isolation)
We saw you getting Hans-y at your sister's coronation
Snap engaged to a villain 'fore you cuddled up with Thor
(Looks like any dude'll do when your love's an open door)
This Arendelle airhead has a brain full of holes
From when her mind got wiped by those ridiculous trolls
Of course you Norses fight, but in the end you always lose
Your odds are sinking faster than your parents on a cruise

[Anna (Kristoff)]
You've got an avalanche of dandruff and lice by the million
You need a lake of shampoo and a full-body Brazilian
While we're on the subject, and I don't mean to push
But does your carpet match your drapes? That's like an 80-pound bush
(I'm the fixer-upper lover who's as strong as an ox
I go hard all night long 'cause my family rocks
By the Northern Lights I keep her warm at night
And I'm moving more ice than Walter White)
Can I say something crazy? Check how it affects ya
Your hair's a let down and no one respects ya
So get back in your prison atop that tall architecture
Won't be coming back for seconds because Anna wrecks ya